Thought Experiment

The following is a transcript of the thoughts of Siddharth Sharma (See Footnote[1]), taken today during Operating Systems' lecture.

9:35 AM

Late again! How can it be? Had lots of time today. Probably that's why. you tend to relax. its so much better clock is ticking and the other guy is waiting for the bathroom.... leave it..Computer Networks... she (the teacher) won't say anything. Just walk right in. Don't ask. 3rd floor... why do we always get classes on 3rd floor when everybody else gets theirs at 1st floor. That looks like it... May I come.......what is she doing here. (It was supposed to be Computer Networks but our subject found out that the Operating Systems faculty was taking the lecture.)

Where is Sudeep. There. No sign of Sumit and Vikrant though.

Teacher: "Mum wum .... blah blah blah..... Priority... Job Scheduling.... wum wum"

What is it? I ask Sudeep, and he makes a face that I know very well. It means "I don't have a fucking idea"

what the hell, he was present yesterday. Its a continuation.

Teacher: "Forget what I taught yesterday."

What a fucking joke ('The White Tiger').

Like anybody remembered it.

Teacher: "Mugga wugga.... blah blah..... yum wum"

<...............goes on for 10 minutes.....>

I am beginning to feel a rage here......

Teacher: "yum hum wum wum... p1,p2 process..... blah yum wum"

To hell. That's why I don't get good marks. how can I write well if I don't understand it. Studying used to be fun once. There is no joy here..

<.... Mr. Perfect stands up... He even has a question....???????.....>

Mr. Perfect: "Mam.. why does...blah blah..... shouldn't it ........yum wum.... blah blah blah"

Teacher: "wugga wugga.... no wait..(pauses for a minute).. yes I think you are right... It should be that way. I was wrong.......Everybody, listen... blah blah blah"

She doesn't know anything. What type of teachers have we got. Well I probably deserve them.. If only I had passed JEE.. Shut up.... its been ages and you still beat about it... this is what losers do, always hide behind the things that didn't happen... if only...

Teacher: "mugga blah blah priority.. clear?"

NO NO NO.... In fact yes. You have cleared my brain upto the point of thoughtlessness. I cannot even think whether I understood or not... and look at them or better, look at me... I'll also answer in the affirmative...

Me: "Yes mam , clear."

Teacher: "blah blah blah.... Time Slice... wugga wugga"

Ah! time slice, finally something I know... but slice reminds me of the ad that Slice has made, the Katrina Kaif one... Aamasutra... what relation in the world does an innocent mango drink has with sex? I never thought mango was an aphrodisiac, more so a mango drink that's without fizz. Couldn't have been more explicit. Even bought Katrina to give a 'K' to Aamasutra and hence complete the word... ha ha ha..

Teacher: "blah blah blah........."

Oh shit! Time Slice's gone too... so much so for Katrina Kaif....

Teacher: "#$5^^^&83232......"

its all greek to me :P

10:00 AM

Look at the watch... still half an hour to go... there goes professor Einstein and his relativity. Time passes so slowly. If only Newton had such teachers, Relativity would have been his first discovery....

Teacher: "mugga wugga....SRTF, SJF..... blah blah."

This is getting too much. Why can't this be like those first person shooter games... where I can blow her brains out with a gun... or better still, I'll use a baseball bat.. take out all my rage.

<........Another question pops out.........>

Apparently, not everyone is as dumb as I am.

What the hell. I don't think anybody can beat JSS when it comes to worst faculty. probably should put up my thoughts on my blog. Yeah, that'll do. Creative use of this time...

Creative use reminds me of my electric guitar. Better learn to play it quick or 20,000 down the drain. Wanted it so badly. Now that I've got it, it poses another problem.... to learn it and learn it well.....

10:30 AM

Teacher: "Siddharth Sharma?"

Me: "Present mam."

Finally over. I am completely drained out.... cannot attend anymore classes.

I did not understand anything. Pre emption, scheduling, round robin etc.... no concepts at all.

On the other hand, if you do not get the existing concepts, who knows... you may develop your own.....

Yeah! that sounds nice... Take that, Mr. Gates and here I come, Linus.......

[1]The subject profile

The subject is Male, 22 years of age. He is an engineering student in the discipline of Computer Science. He studies at JSS, Noida (see next footnote).

[2]

Yes, its JSS; not Jaypee Noida.

No, there are not many colleges in Noida. They're in 'Greater Noida'.

Yes, its through UPTU. :(

(Its one of those colleges that only those who study in it have ever heard of it, and still fewer can tell you its full form.)

10 Films You Must Watch ......

Well its been a long time since I last posted. Haven't been able to do it for various reasons. However, here I am with this list that I compiled about 10 English movies that I believe everyone should watch.
It wasn't an easy task for me to restrict this list to 10, which means that I had to leave out some films other people might have included. It may irk a few people to see their favourite films missing, but then this is a personal choice.

Since I do not rank these movies, they are arranged in a chronological order.
Here we go !

1. City Lights (1931)

Dir - Charlie Chaplin

One of the gems of silent era, this film tells the story of a blind girl and a tramp. You have to watch this if you call yourself a movie fan. Hilariously funny and emotionally touching, it has one of greatest and most touching finale of any film.
This is probably Chaplin's greatest work, and that's saying something.

2. Citizen Kane (1941)

Dir - Orson Welles

In his first film, Orson Welles created what is said to be the biggest cinematic landmark since pictures first started moving. Not only a very good film, but very important also. Volumes have been written about the film's numerous innovative ideas and techniques.
An epic tale of a publishing tycoon's rise and fall, a must watch.

3. 12 Angry men (1957)

Dir - Sidney Lumet

Sydney Lumet's directorial debut is a dramatic tale about a jury of 12 average people, which has to decide on a case of murder. Brilliantly acted, directed and superbly written, the movie leaves a tremendous impact. Confined to just a hot room and 12 men, the movie has no action, just lot of words.
A must watch film about debate and dialogue; and courage.

4. Lawrence Of Arabia (1962)

Dir - David Lean

Synonymous with epic, the film is perfect from every aspect.
Even though it is nearly four hours long, it is definitely worth the time. A brilliant script combined with masterful direction and grand performances, the film is majestic from every angle, not to mention the score by Maurice Jarre. And words are just not enough to describe its cinematography, you have to see it.
Only problem is that it is a shame not to watch it on big screen.

5. Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Dir - Stanley Kubrick

For me, it is the best black comedy that I have seen. Set during the height of the Cold War, it is a vicious satire on politics and military. Peter Sellers is brilliant in the triple role that he plays and the film is filled with memorable lines.

Watch it. The Cold War may be over, but the film is as relevant today as it was then.

6. The Godfather (1972)

Dir - Francis Ford Coppola

What to say about one of the greatest movies ever made !
Based on the novel of the same name by Mari Puzo, this epic tale of mafia life in America set new standards for cinema. One of the greatest commercial and critical successes, this is probably the most talked about Hollywood film.
A filmmaker and audience's dream alike, it gets everything right .You have to be insane not to like it.
WATCH IT, if you haven't already.

7. Schindler's List (1993)

Dir - Steven Spielberg

I always thought of Spielberg as a director who only directed those adventure movies like Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones and E.T. So it came to me as a surprise when i first watched this film.
Based on a true story, its the best film on the Jewish Holocaust. Scene after scene, Spielberg creates what is, for me, his best work ever. Grand performances from the three lead actors exemplary.Shot in black and white, the movie is a real masterpiece. Even if you are not fond of movies, you have to see this one.
And if you are not moved by it, you do not deserve decent company.

8. Pulp Fiction (1994)

Dir - Quentin Tarantino

Pulp Fiction is what a brilliant director can do when he wants to.
Its violent, wicked, funny and a visual treat. A screenplay that is hard to keep up with till the movie ends and magnificent cast make it a top notch watch. But the coolest things in the film are its dialogues and the encyclopedic grasp of Quentin Tarantino over film making on display.
A cult classic, it is a metamovie in a sense, referring to other works. A roller coaster ride that you shouldn't miss.

9. Finding Nemo (2003)

Dir - Andrew Stanton

Animation doesn't get better than this.
Good screenplay, talented voice work, controlled direction and animation by Pixar so expressive, it makes the similar efforts by DreamWorks and others useless. Whether it is the waves of the sea or the colours of the fishes, everything is just wonderful. But what makes it such a pleasure from start to end is the story that appeals to everyone, a movie about finding your courage ,fighting your fears and family values.
Highly recommended.

10. The Dark Knight (2008)

Dir - Christopher Nolan

It may not be as great as some of the other movies on this list, but there is no denying the fact that it is for movies like these that we go to cinemas.
Dark and complex, it is undoubtedly the best superhero movie till date. A tight script and screenplay written by the brothers Christopher Nolan & Jonathan Nolan (who also wrote Memento), is what sits at the heart of this film. However, the film is further elevated by its direction, good cinematography, and an unforgettable performance by Heath Ledger as the Joker.
A boon for the lovers of the genre, it is a movie everyone should watch.

Learning Woes

Prologue

Monday, 23 June 2008 was the date, yes, I remember it correctly, when I bought my guitar. Me too, like many people before me, and many people to come, had fallen in love with this instrument after listening to variety of songs like 'Knockin' on heaven's door', 'Hotel California', 'Johnny B Goode' and lots of others. I had full confidence that in near future I will be playing like a pro with fingers so fast, they would set the fretboard on fire (ok that's a hyperbole).Though guitar has a reputation of being tough but then music is never easy. So, I bought it and began learning. This post is actually a rough collection of how difficult it was for me.

1 - The Basics 

Mr Srigopal Agrawal was my music teacher at school. I joined his classes for basics ( scales and leads).

So, what guitar requires is that there are 6 strings and there is a fretboard with divisions that divides the length of strings. So, you pluck a string open or pressing on fret to produce a note. Notes when mixed together produce music. Simple. But my learning is governed by certain Murphylike laws. Now I state the theorems without proofs. (For proof try to learn guitar)

1. Its always wrong finger position. Always.
   
2. When finger position is correct, its the wrong fret.
   
3. When both are correct, you're plucking the wrong string (damn!!).
   
4. Finally when everything seems correct – The songs are played in a RHYTHM.
   

Well with practice I got better and managed to play a few songs. Never mind the grooves that I developed in my fingers, that's bound to happen. Then the college reopened and classes ended.

2 - Hostel Blues

Guitar is probably the most famous instrument in the hostel. Also as I have net access there so it was a good place to learn open chords, the next step. With YouTube and assistance of friends I began. What I found was :

1. E is a darling. Used in numerous songs and easiest.
   
2. A and D are manageable.
   
3. C & G take bit of time.
   
4. F as the name goes is F**** chord. If you get this, all others seem easy.
   

I got them, but wait a minute, a song has quite few of them and that requires changing them, that too with strumming. So, now I state theorem 5 (most important).

   5) Every song you like and want to play should contain at least one chord that you don't know (C sus4 for example) OR are not comfortable with. If above two fail then you cannot get the strumming right (Roobaroo for example )

As always practice, practice and practice. Nothing else.

3 - What Shall I Play

Governed by Theorem 5, I began searching for right song. Hindi or English, I couldn't play even the easiest ones. Then some of them had dreaded barré chords. So I got an idea - “Learn one song, but it must be real good”. Using this principle I turned to rock and metal but they use electric guitar, so I gave up. Then on YouTube, I found this lesson on 'Stairway to Heaven' – one of the the greatest songs ever, using a acoustic guitar. That was it, I found what I was looking for and declared to all my friends that I am going to play 'Stairway to heaven'. Then following happened.

1. The first note required barring the first finger across 5th fret. ( no, not again)
   
2. It requires finger picking.
   
3. Its very tricky at places.
   
4. There are lots of weird chords and odd rhythm.
   
5. It requires ELECTRIC GUITAR later.
   

Nevertheless, I began and in one month I have so far managed first 2 minutes out of total 8.

4 - There's Something About Jimmy

There's definitely something about funky names and long hair that all hard rock musicians go with them. Now two of the greatest guitarists are Jimmy Hendrix and Jimmy Page. Having watched their videos for hours I thought maybe I should also grow my hair. By the time I learn the song and play it, I would have enough to 'go with the groove'. And its a big ask for me because I have what are called 'shoe brush hair'. They are pretty rough and hard so best left short. So I went home a week ago, with my hair uncut and an idea to buy an electric guitar. I practiced there for hours so that my family would understand how serious I was (this time ,that is). Maybe I overdid it.

I told my mother that I would require an electric guitar. It would cost around Rs. 30,000 with amp and processor. She did not reply. So, two hours later, I repeated my words and she, her response. Then at dinner  I said the same thing again and this time she said,”Stop thinking this nonsense and do what you were sent to do. I can see you've only been playing guitar and not studying. And what's with this hairstyle.Get a haircut first thing in the morning and try to look decent.”

Well that was it. I am still learning the song and hope to complete it during my summer vacations. And   also hope for an electric guitar. Wish me luck. 

PS : The above are only my personal experiences and should not be taken for guitar in general. Guitar is a great instrument and everybody should give it a try (it also has a reputation for working wonders with girls ;)  )

A Book For Everyone........(Part 2 of 2)

Francis Bacon famously said, "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed and some few to be chewed and digested." But A Short History Of Nearly Everything is such a delicacy that no matter how you have it, it always leaves a delicious taste. Whether you read it in parts, or skim  through it, or take a dive, there's always something that you didn't know before and makes you read more.

Bill Bryson is a non-fiction writer mainly popular for his travel books. He's not a physicist or a researcher of any sort to write a book on science. This is precisely where the strength of the book lies.

Bryson knows what it is like to find science dull and intimidating (like the way it is generally taught in schools). He therefore projects the story of 'the earth and everything thats on it', from his own view, that of someone who knew nothing about science as such. As he mentions in the introduction, "I didn't know what a proton was, or a protein, didn't know a quark from a quasar, didn't know how an atom was put together."

Bryson puts together everything - birth of the universe, solar system, basic laws, modern physics, biology, geology, palaeontology and even ecology. The result is a thick book with the greatest story ever told - the story of our creation and evolution, but the book is a delight from start to finish. A Short History Of Nearly Everything does actually contain nearly everything, but its Bryson's talent as a writer that he handles it all so well. He writes with the wit of Feynman and the simplicity of Hawking. Even most difficult topics like particle physics and classification of species seem easy. 

Bryson calls the book a 'History' because instead of just plain facts, he actually traces people and events that led to those facts. Thrown throughout the book like little gems are these anecdotes, about famous (and unknown) scientists and their obsessions (weird, most of the time), that always bring a smile to your face (though some make you feel sad). Take this for example - On hearing Darwin's theory, the wife of an aristocrat wrote in a letter, "Descended from apes! My dear let us hope that it is not true and if it is, not many people come to know about it." There is Issac Newton, a brilliant albeit strange character who "inserted. . .a long needle . . . . into his eye socket and rubbed it around . . . . just to see what would happen." There is Henry Cavendish, discoverer of Hydrogen and who calculated the value of G, and who was such a recluse that "even his housekeeper communicated with him through a letter". And there is this Carl Scheele who "somehow got convinced that Gold could be extracted from human urine (maybe due to the colour)" and who performed all sorts of experiments, eventually discovering Phosphorus. The book is full of them.

What Bryson has done is commendable but nothing is perfect. There are parts in the book where you can feel the grip loosening when he is out of his comfort zone. He is at his best when he can link to people, places or events, but while explaining pure facts, without the use of mathematics he is not the same. Well, as I said, nothing is perfect but we can always try. That's what Bryson does and if for nothing else, read this book for an excellent and brave attempt.

A Book For Everyone........(Part 1 of 2)

If there exists a better book on general science than Bill Bryson's A Short History Of Nearly Everything, then please forgive me for not reading it for I was too awed by what Bryson had achieved.I may be biased but no other book that I have read on popular science (and believe me I have read a lot),is so complete (with the possible exception of The Road To Reality).

A Short History... does sound like an ambitious title, for how can anyone cover 'everything' in finite pages (although a good number),but as it turns out, Bryson does achieve what he sets out to do.

Its been about six years since the book was first released. Its reasonably famous and a bestseller,but I haven't met a great number of people who have read it. That is why I decided to write this post (and the next).Its based on how I came across the book and why its my favourite.

My first introduction to this book was through Books page in Ht on Sundays. It was highly recommended but at a whooping amount of Rs 950 it wasn't worth, or so I thought. Well time passed by and I got busy with my ICSE exams in 2004. Later that year while reading Reader's Digest, I came across an article that had a passage from this book. It talked about the universe and it's creation (my favourite part). It was so beautifully written, I just couldn't take my eyes of it. I decided to buy book but in Mathura you do not easily get such books (in 2004 I mean), so I had to abandon the idea.

How I eventually got this book is a series of amazing coincidences. I went to Lucknow for a Quiz Competition in September 2004. There, I visited my grandfather. While I was having chat with my aunt (Mrs Shikhi Sharma-one of most intelligent people I have met), she asked me about my hobbies. First thing that came to my mouth was reading. So she asked which books have I read. I told her about A Brief History of Time and Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman and then I said that I would love to read this book called A Short History... To my surprise she had already read it and immediately understood what a good book it was. I got the book as a gift and a reward for my knowledge (and also as she was very impressed after I recited Mark Antony's funeral speech to her with perfection. A thousand thanks to Mrs Usha Saxena, my English teacher, who had taught us so well. God bless her ).

Well that was it. I finally got the book that i had so long desired but just couldn't get. Why I do like the book and why I think that everyone should read it, will follow in my next post.

(to be concluded.......)

Finally......, it begins

Well I finally get to do what I had been trying for about six months now.

At last I get to write my own blog.Ironically I am using finally as title for my first post.But that aside I think its going to be fun and a learning experience.

My life as of present has been a mix of successes and failures (I know its a cliche) but my problem is that I cannot tell successes from failures as of now.Maybe sometime later when I look back it will be easier.

So,here I am ,exercising my 'Right to Freedom of Expression'.At this blog I want to share my opinions with you.We'll talk about books,films,songs and also political conditions.Feel free to give your comments as I am new to this art.

Now I would like to take some lines to thank some people.

My teachers and parents as everything I write is derived from knowledge they gave me.

Friends who bear with me and help me. Prachi Agrawal helped me to start this (visit her blog at http://azilikeit.blogspot.com),Ankit,my senior who helped with my first post(he blogs at http://ankitlyf.blogspot.com).

God : I know you do everything for a reason but it would be better if you inform me first